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The Day That Saved My Life: How God Uses My Bride To Teach Me About Him

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22


I spent most of my life dreaming about the day I would find someone I could spend the rest of my life with. After many wrong attempts at dating and forcing my will, I finally met the woman I wanted to spend my life with. I knew she wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for me. Little did I know when I was sharing my vows with my wife all the things she would be used to teach me.

Although I could write an endless book on everything God has done through my wife to make me a better man, I want to focus this blog on the process God takes a person through to save and sanctify them. This threefold process is illustrated perfectly through marriage. From our singleness, to the bliss of a wedding, and finally to the moment our eyes are opened to maximizing our marriages, it all points us to a greater spiritual reality. One that is of the utmost importance for us to get right.

  1. My single years exposed what I needed in a bride.

Oh, those precious years of freedom before a person gets hitched and gives up the right to do anything fun. Often, in our society, that is the mindset of a single person. Singleness is a time to sow the oats and live fully because of unhindered freedom. However, there comes a time when freedom turns to loneliness, and the heart longs to find something greater to live for than ourselves.

Looking back, I can see how every moment of my life before I was married led me to my wife. Undoubtedly, all the pieces of my life, good and bad, were exposing my need for a wife with the characteristics that mine has. Although I firmly believe that any two people who commit their marriage to honor God can have a fruitful marriage, I do believe that God desires us to have partners who complement us and allow us to grow throughout our lives.

Believe it or not, there is a spiritual state of "singleness" that people who do not have Jesus as their Savior take part in. Before I encountered Jesus and knew it was time to call on Him as my Messiah, I searched the world for any other escape. It wasn't neccessarily out of ill-will towards God, it was more out of a lack of understanding how, or more importantly, why Jesus would want anything to due with a mess like me. Truth be told, Jesus used all of those years of me sowing my oats to expose my need for Him.

2. My wedding day allowed me to embrace my wife.

It was one of the greatest days of my life. I will never forget how beautiful my wife looked as she walked down that staircase. I would be lying if I did not acknowledge the doubts that I would ever find someone for me. Then, in that moment, not only did I find someone to marry me, it was my best friend. That day I got to embrace my wife, and no longer was I just one person. I was tied to my bride through the vows that we made to love and cherish one another and commit our marriage to honoring God.

As I write this on our fourth wedding anniversary, I realize that the wedding day and the first few years of marriage our a time of eupohoric embracing. For the sake of keeping this blog "PG", we will leave it at that. It is a time to lay the foundation of togetherness for the life that God is going to give a couple together. That is why the Bible teaches that the first year of marriage should be carefully guarded and include as much together time as possible.

In our walks with Jesus, there is a wedding day as well. It comes the moment we call on Him to be the Savior of our lives. That moment when we realize that we can't spend another moment of our lives without the free gift of grace that He extended to us on calvary and call on Him to forgive us of our sins, we are completely tied to Him. The door is opened for us to embrace and love our Savior, because we receieve the Holy Spirit and can now pursue God. This is our beautiful spiritual wedding day.

3. The post-honeymoon phase has taught me to exalt my wife.

It was one of the most painful lessons that I have ever learned. On my wedding day, I married my best friend. I promised her the world and meant every word of it. However, I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea on my wedding day, or those honey-moon years what it truly meant to be a husband. It wasn't until the last year that I truly learned the secret to marriage.

The secret to marriage is that it is best when I exalt my wife. When I put her before myself and seek what is going to bring her joy over what is going to bring myself joy. Now, by no means, does this mean that I spoil her, or ignore God's calling on my life to be the head of my household. It merely means, that I prioritize and serve her before I serve my own wants and needs. Trust me when I say, I am a long was from being good at this, but I like to think that every day I get a little bit better at it.

In our spiritual walks this happens when we feel a call on our lives to go deeper in our faith. We realize that we may have Jesus as the Savior of our lives, but we need Him to be the Lord as well. Therefore, we surrender all to Him and commit the rest of our lives to living for Him and His glory. We begin to echo the words, "it is no longer I that live, but Christ that lives in me."

I thank God everyday for my wife and the lessons that she teaches me. She has helped me accomplish many things that I never thought I would be able to accomplish. I would not be the man I am today without her. But, more that anything else, I am thankful for her love for God and how God has used her to teach me about Him.

Happy anniversary. I love you Kelsey Anne.

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